Lessons I've learned at work:

Ah... the things you can learn eavesdropping on conversations outside your laboratory door at work:

Lunch break socialising:
"Your girlfriend's on Facebook? Well it's almost my break time... that means it's STALKER O'CLOCK!"

Dealing with complaints on the phone:
"Thank you for calling [company], would you like one of our competitors numbers?"

The life of a manager:
"I'm sorry, I can't chat. I have to go and have a meeting about all the work I could be doing if I wasn't always being called into meetings."

Those difficult telephone customers:
"I'm sorry about that sir, you see we didn't design our [stop smoking product] with pythons in mind."

And that old telephone classic:
"You're taking liquid morphine illegally you say sir?"