Imagine you're a human*. You've built the internet, GPS satellites, guns, the Tellytubbies, etc, etc. Being so smart has made you head honcho of Earth. So sit back, watch some Tellytubbies, shoot your GPS, and feel slightly smug....
....While you're doing that let me introduce you to Alex the parrot:
Image above: Alex the parrot. Here he's about to do something spectacularly clever. Unless you just squeezed his trainers bum. In that case he's about to jam one of those cubes into your eye socket....
Everyone knows that parrots don't really talk: They just mimic what they hear, right? A bit like a tape recorder that poops.
And, until Alex, what everyone knew was right.... er, as far as everyone knew that is:
"Pick up my damn corn woman! Who's bringing in the damn research money? Yeah, right, the super parrot, so pick up my damn corn!"
Alex had the same grasp of language as a five year old, and could hold a basic conversation. He could count, and add. Show him an object and he could name it, and let him hold it and he could tell you what it was made of.
Although, like a five year old, he had some trouble with the word 'please', and tended to throw things at people when he got annoyed.** The one thing he never learned was how to fly - he was an orphan, with no parent parrot to teach him.
Awww.
His last words (to Irene his owner) were: "You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you."
He died at 31, from an undiagnosed heart condition.
To give you some idea of how much Alex meant to Irene, and to everyone who knew him, watch the video below (it's twelve minutes long, so get cup of tea).
Alex got an obituary in The Economist. I won't get that, and I can do quadratic equations. Damn parrot.
Oh, and that reminds me - while you're on the internet, look up Koko the ape, or dolphin language, or crow tool making.
Have you done all that? Good.
Now go and watch Planet Of The Apes.....
* If you're finding this a struggle please don't get in touch with me. I scare easy.
** Don't just take my word for any of this, you're on the internet, go look Alex up!
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